Victory in the small things

I knew I would have to face this moment some or other time, I just did not know that I would have to face it quite so quickly. Before going to Summit I had joined a local gym (2 miles from home) because I knew I would come home ready to make the necessary changes to become a healthier person. I had all these great plans of exercising first thing in the morning and even managed to get my gym orientation out of the way before I left for Houston. I came back from Houston and got up at 6 and went to the gym. I did that the first week and though I was very tired during the day (not eating enough according to the trainer) I kept going without a problem. This past Saturday he added some back exercises and I think I overdid it. I did not sleep well on Saturday night and would not get out of the bed to go to the gym on Monday morning no matter what I told myself. So I took the day off. Tuesday morning I went in and declared that I had given myself permission to have the day off on Monday and would combine two days worth of exercises to make up for the day I missed. The trainer just kept quiet. So then my husband's vacation starts on Wednesday and I only go to the gym at 8 a.m., but I went! Come this morning and I sleep in, so wonderful... I don't feel like the gym. I had a little wrestling match with the basket of chips and salsa at the surprise b'day party for one of our FP members at a local mexican restaurant last night. First I was not going to go to her suprise party because of the food choices that will be so difficult and realized I cannot hide or run away for ever - so I went. I did eat too much chips, at least 2-3 servings but I wrote it down as 3 servings and took ownership of it. That was part of why I did not get up and go to the gym this morning, I felt like I had failed - I had failed myself and I had failed God and the promise I had made to Him with the tripple Dare. So I've been sitting in front of the PC the whole day with lots of transcription - and thats my excuse, I can't possibly leave all this work and run off to the gym... its not possible. By 3 p.m. I can't stand it anymore! I put on my gym clothes, grab my keys and I went to the gym!!

Woohoo, victory! God is great! He worked on me and my attitude and I did my 30 minutes on the elliptical machine and I survived it. I feel great! I did not do what I have always done in the past and that was tell myself Im a failure and just give up. I survived the 30 minutes, sweating yes but driving home I was wondering what is really so bad about exercising that we cannot get ourselves to even just do a few minutes of that on a daily basis? Are we lazy? Do we not like to sweat? Is it really such hard work? Are we embarrased by our size and what others think of us? I don't have the answer yet though I am working on this through changing my attitude to a positive one and to believe in myself and to keep my promise to God. He never left me, I drifted away but I am back! I am ashamed yes but I am back... so tomorrow morning at 6 I will get up and go do my upper body strength training exercises and I commit again to keep plugging. Afterall, is victory not achieved through the small changes that we make?